With the holidays quickly approaching, for as many of us who might be excited about celebrating the season and diving into the joy of traditions… it’s likely that just as many of us are dreading it. If this time of year serves as a time of stress, anxiety, or emotional pain for you, you’re not alone.
At Claibourne Counseling, our trauma therapists in Scottsdale often see an increase in stress around this time of year. For adults, teens, couples, and seniors, the mix of family dynamics, sensory overload, financial pressure, and memories of loss can activate what therapists call trauma triggers. I’ve sure you’ve seen “trigger warning” online somewhere before. Today we want to talk about holiday related trauma triggers. Read on to learn about these yule time reminders that send the brain and body back into survival mode, even if the danger has long passed.
What Is a Trauma Trigger?
A trauma trigger is anything – a sound, smell, word, memory, or even a facial expression – that unconsciously reminds your brain of a past traumatic experience.
When that happens, the amygdala, the part of your brain responsible for detecting threats, reacts as though the trauma is happening all over again. This activates your body’s fight, flight, freeze, or fawn response, flooding you with stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline.
Even though you might know you’re safe, your body doesn’t yet believe it. That’s why you might suddenly feel your heart race, your muscles tense, or tears well up without understanding why.
Trauma therapy, especially evidence-based approaches like EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), helps the brain process those stuck memories so they can be remembered without re-experiencing the pain.
Why the Holidays Can Reactivate Old Wounds
Family and Relationship Triggers
Returning to family gatherings can reopen old dynamics that once caused pain. Maybe you’ve worked hard in therapy to set boundaries, but an old family pattern pulls you right back into your childhood role…the peacemaker, the caretaker, or the one who’s “too sensitive.”
Example: Leslie is an accomplished civil servant. She’s the head of her department and is looked up to by her team and everyone around her at work. She’s a bit of an over-achiever, but that’s only because she cares so much. She works hard and has a list of accomplishments and awards. She shared how she felt invisible again when her achievements were ignored at dinner with her family, echoing years of emotional neglect. Though the moment seemed small, her nervous system registered it as a threat to her safety and worth. Her family doesn’t see her as the important department lead who everyone looks up to. She’ll always be little Leslie to them, making her feel small and reminding her of all of the times she tried and tried to prove herself but never felt good enough.
Grief and Loss Triggers
Holidays are designed around togetherness, which makes the absence of loved ones even louder. Songs, traditions, or empty seats at the table can all bring up the ache of what’s missing. Grief and trauma often intersect, especially when loss came suddenly or without closure.
Example: Jerry, a widower in his seventies, described feeling a wave of sadness at the smell of gingerbread. His late wife used to make gingerbread cookies for everyone they knew at Christmas and the scent would fill their home for days. You’ve probably heard that scent is one of the strongest ties to memories. Science backs this up. While sight, sound, and touch all go through the part of the brain called the thalamus – smells bypass this and go directory to the amygdala and hippocampus. This is why even years after his wife passing, that smell became a doorway back to his grief.
Sensory and Environmental Triggers
The lights, sounds, and crowds that fill the season can overwhelm the senses, especially for trauma survivors or those with sensory sensitivities. Our senses, outside of scent, are powerful memory keepers. EMDR and other trauma therapies help rewire how the brain responds to these cues, reducing the intensity of the body’s reaction.
Example: Ron, a combat veteran, found himself gripping the steering wheel every time he drove past flashing holiday light displays. He wasn’t consciously thinking of combat, but his body reacted as though danger were near. The anxious feelings Ron experienced were symptoms of PTSD. While PTSD for combat veterans is one of the more common types, anyone who experiences trauma, especially those with a family history of anxiety disorders, can develop PTSD.
Financial and Expectation Triggers
Holiday spending, gift-giving, and social comparison can bring up feelings of guilt or shame. Pressure to “make it magical” or appear grateful can disconnect us from our authentic emotions and strain relationships.
Example: April shared that she felt paralyzed by guilt when she couldn’t afford gifts for everyone in her family. She grew up in a home where she was showered with gifts every birthday and holiday. Her parents weren’t the most present, but they tried to buy her love. This type of emotional hunger, which probably stemmed from an anxious and/or insecure attachment in their own childhoods formed a deep-seated trauma in April. The holidays and buying gifts for her family as an adult served as a painful reminder of growing up in a household where money and love were often linked.
Internal and Emotional Triggers
The end of the year often sparks reflection, which can bring up guilt, regret, or the sense of not being “enough.” Our bodies hold onto timelines, even when our conscious minds don’t.
Example: Andy, a father in therapy, noticed himself feeling inexplicably irritable every December. Diagnosed with a learning disorder as a child, he spent years trying to prove he wasn’t “lazy” or “stupid.” Report cards always arrived right before winter break, a time that often ended in harsh criticism and disappointment from his parents. Through EMDR, Andy uncovered how his body had learned to associate the end of the year with judgment and failure. Even now, as a capable and successful adult, those old feelings of not measuring up resurfaced each holiday season, long after the grades stopped coming.
Religious or Cultural Triggers
For some, religious or cultural gatherings can reconnect them with a part of life that caused harm. Healing means learning to re-engage with your values and spirituality on your own terms, something trauma therapy can gently support.
Example: Donna was raised in a spiritually abusive environment and felt panic during church services where she once sought comfort. Hearing familiar hymns made her body tense, even though she intellectually knew she was safe.
The Science of Healing: How EMDR Helps Rewire the Brain
When trauma triggers arise, your brain is trying to protect you. EMDR therapy works by helping the brain reprocess those memories so they can move from the emotional (amygdala-based) part of the brain to the logical, reasoning center (the prefrontal cortex).
Through bilateral stimulation, usually eye movements or tapping, EMDR helps the brain file those memories properly. Over time, what once felt like a raw, open wound becomes a closed scar: something that’s part of your story, but no longer defines your present.
Many clients describe feeling lighter, calmer, and more emotionally grounded, even in environments that once triggered anxiety or flashbacks.
How to Prepare for the Holidays Mindfully
You can’t always prevent trauma triggers, but you can prepare for them. Here are a few trauma-informed strategies our Scottsdale trauma therapists recommend:
- Identify your triggers ahead of time. Notice patterns from past holidays. Which environments, people, or situations feel hardest?
- Plan grounding tools. Deep breathing, EMDR-based tapping, or sensory grounding (like touching something cold or textured) can calm the nervous system.
- Set and communicate boundaries. It’s okay to leave early, skip an event, or say no altogether. Healing sometimes means choosing peace over tradition.
- Seek professional support. If triggers feel unmanageable, trauma therapy, including EMDR, can help retrain your brain’s response so you feel safer in your own body.
- Make new traditions. Healing may mean redefining what the holidays look like. Find new rituals that bring comfort rather than obligation.
Healing Is Possible…Even During the Holidays
Trauma healing isn’t about pretending everything is fine. It’s about learning to feel safe again, even in situations that once felt overwhelming. Whether you’re an adult navigating family stress, a couple rebuilding connection, a teen coping with loss, or a senior grieving change, you deserve peace and emotional safety this holiday season.
If the holidays bring up more pain than joy, our trauma and EMDR therapists in Scottsdale are here to help. Healing is possible and you don’t have to face it alone.
